Show Notes

On today's show we have  Leticia and she's from Palm Beach. She's an attorney and she chairs the Executive Leadership Council for Palm Beach County Autism Speaks. She's an online health and wellness partner. She's been married to her husband last for nearly 12 years. And they have a nine-year-old daughter diagnosed with ASD at age two. They've been navigating this journey ever since. 

 

Are you still in shock that you are a parent of a special needs child?
This show is for parents who are morning the loss of the life and child they thought they would have. For parents who are tired, lonely, and see no hope in sight?

You will learn how to deal with your non-verbal child with a sensory processing disorder, seizures, meltdowns, haircuts, and family trips. Embark on a journey of consciousness, self-care & meditation.

My name is Chad Ratliffe. I am a single father of 5 kids 6 years of age (8-14) and 2 with special needs. 5 years ago, in a nasty divorce, my depression led me to drug addiction and hopelessness. Today, I share with others a life I never imagined possible.

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

parent, feel, kid, years, family, naked, mom, people, accepting, life, age, experience, therapies, today, working, talk, give, early, share, good

SPEAKERS

Chad Ratliffe, Leticia Rodriguez

 

Leti  00:00

And even after I sat with the director of the school, and I explained all of this to her, and she was very seem to be very accepting and welcoming and sure that's no problem. On the third day, she told me sorry, this is not going to work out. My heart was broken. Because I just felt my goodness, they're not even giving her a chance. It's not even like a week, before they just kicked her out.

 

We are truly fortunate to have a wonderful guest today. Her name is Leticia and she's from Palm Beach. She's an attorney and she chairs the Executive Leadership Council for Palm Beach County Autism Speaks. She's an online health and wellness partner. She's been married to her husband last for nearly 12 years. And they have a nine year old daughter who was diagnosed with ASD at age two. They've been navigating this journey ever since. So, Leticia Welcome to the show.

 

Leti  03:55

Hi, nice to be here.

 

Chad Ratliffe  03:56

Yeah, we're so grateful to have you. You've been on this journey for seven years that you know of in nine years. Total. Can you tell us a little bit about the beginning. And when things didn't look the way you thought they were supposed to luck and what that was like,

 

Leti  04:13

she was officially diagnosed at age two. But I felt like I knew really early on and you know, you try to not compare your kid with other kids. But it's hard to do that. And I had taken her to all of these, like Mommy and Me classes in the early first year. And I started noticing she wasn't hitting the milestones, I would talk to her pediatrician about it. But he kept saying, well just, you know, look at her make sure she's giving you eye contact. She wasn't doing her tummy time. And I just had this gut feeling like something was off, but nobody could really tell me what it was. And then she turned one years old. I continued to have this same intuition about it and honor around 18 months I finally felt like I needed to ask more Questions. And long story short, we eventually got her evaluated. And they did diagnose her at first with developmental delay. And that was on around 18 months. And we started the therapies at that point. Moving forward. I'm based in Florida, there's an organization called early steps in Florida, that provided the evaluation and provided the therapies at our home or any site that you choose, free of charge through the state. And so we took advantage of that service up until the age of three years old. And so during that time, we were fortunate enough to also have private insurance through my husband's employment. And so we supplemented therapies as well. We were connected with pediatric neurologist, we saw him he officially while he, he gave her the initial diagnosis of developmental delay, and then a couple of months thereafter, officially diagnosed her with autism, and knew that that would help her in the sense of getting the therapies that she needed. And the earlier that you provided these therapies, the better off she would be in the long run. And so that was our story. It was organic. I started talking to people more, but I felt like from a mom's perspective, there was always some sort of something wasn't right here. And I talked to so many moms about it now that I feel more comfortable sharing my story, because it took a really long time. I kept that to myself and my husband, my immediate family, my sister, my parents, my in laws, nobody outside of that circle knew in the very early years, and we were just battling that new life now taking her all these therapies, and learning how to parent her now in a different way. And so, you know, it took several years before I felt like I could say the word out loud. And then when I did that, I felt like this weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders, accepted it, I felt like it took a lot of time to accept it as a parent and realizing that this is who she is, there's nothing wrong with her. It's just a different way of being. And I just have to learn how to parent that and then share it with the world because there's other kids and families dealing with similar things. Yes. So that's basically, you know, in a nutshell, the story of how we got started.

 

Chad Ratliffe  07:26

That's beautiful. I appreciate you sharing that part, because that's a time period that I think it just takes what it takes, and we all go through it. And I feel like there's a lot of people I talked to that are judging themselves feeling like a bad person or a bad parent, because they don't deal with it quick enough or well enough. And it's just I like that we're able to share with other people that you're not alone. This is part of the process. When your doctor diagnosed developmental delay, did they come back to you two months later saying, Hey, I evaluated this, or did you have to say, Wait, are you sure about that? Second,

 

Leti  08:12

yeah, well, I continuously followed up with that neurologist, we had set the appointment, he wanted to see her. So he was also very diligent about wanting to follow up with our family, too. We just scheduled appointments. And what I was thinking was, I want to know, because I need a plan of action. I felt like I even at that point, at 18 months old, I felt like I had wasted time. I wish that I didn't trust my intuition, when I felt like something was off even the earlier months, and didn't act sooner. So when I talk to moms all the time, a lot of them say, Well, we're going to hold off, or we're going to wait and see. And we're going to put them in preschool and this that and the other. I have a quick story about my experience with her in preschool. So her pediatrician, I had these conversations with him whenever I continued to take her to see him for regularly scheduled visits. And I kept saying no, she's not really providing a lot of eye contact, the salary, the other and he said, well just talk to her and just kind of do play, and maybe you should enroll her in school. And so we did that we did everything that all the professionals would tell us to do. We enrolled her in school, I sat with the director of the school it was a very small preschool close to the home. And I explained all of the turtles extremely transparent with her and go listen, we're struggling a little bit we're trying to figure it out. We think this might be but you know, if we insert her in social settings with other peers, perhaps for lack of a better term, like I hate to even say this, but like maybe she'll snap out of it. Right like if she's with other kids and you know she's been isolated since birth. She was just you know, I was working from home I think A time and I was with her one on one. And so she wasn't really with any other kid. So we felt like let's try this out. See if it works. She didn't last three days. She was not even. I mean, she was a baby. She wasn't even two years old. And even after I sat with the director of the school, and I explained all of this to her, and she was very seem to be very accepting and welcoming. And sure, that's no problem. On the third day, she told me, sorry, this is not going to work out. My heart was broken. Because I just felt my goodness, they're not even giving her a chance. It's not even the week, before they just kicked her out. And then we found somewhere else in the interim, and they were very loving, and helpful and welcoming. And she ended up staying there the rest of that semester. But we knew that she was falling through the cracks. I mean, you could see it, they weren't equipped to give her what she needed. In order to excel, they were just going through the motions with her and they were accepting of her in the classrooms. But every time I would visit, I would just see her staring at the wall or, you know, a playground, like just playing with the mulch, you know, she wasn't interacting with the other kids, and they weren't really giving her the attention that she needed, or redirecting her say, oh, you know, paired her with another shot. You know, I just knew it was a temporary fix at the moment until we figured it out until we learned more about it. And it just worked out for our family that we relocated out of that city into another city, not far. But it's funny how the universe works in certain ways where that relocation, we relocated for other reasons, but that ended up happening, you know, being the best decision for her in terms of services. And so yeah, it's just it was hard. It was trying to it was hard, placing her that was like our first experience feeling that rejection from the outside world, like the school like not willing to open themselves up to her or not even willing to like try, yeah, last a week, past three days, the other school was fine, but we knew that it wasn't really serving her. But ultimately, we're fairly confident that once we relocated, we found the right fit. I mean, we had experienced bumps, even in the early stages after a relocation, but then that was just a couple of months before what I felt like we found the right fit for her. And then once we found that, and that was when she was already the age of three, she just I mean, it's not a formal graduation, but she just basically graduated from that program earlier this year. And she officially transitioned into a public school setting in a special needs classroom, but she's in a public school setting now. So after so many years of really investing, the time with getting her the therapies that she needed, we feel strongly that was because of that, that now she's thriving in this setting in a public school.

 

Chad Ratliffe  13:10

Awesome. That's awesome. You know, looking back from where you are today, you know, you talk about snapping out of it, how do you balance the drive of trying to help your child grow and evolve and accepting that they may not snap out of it. It's almost like they're in contrast with one another, you know, trying to help you snap out of it. But is that creating an expectation that can be dangerous,

 

Leti  13:38

I don't even use that term, I and I use it and I was even hesitant to use it now and describing it because at that time, that is what how you know how I felt I don't I no longer feel that way anymore. I am very accepting of her, and how she operates how she learns. We have after many years of talking to great people, and having a wonderful village surrounding us have navigated have found ways to cope and teach her in the way in which it serves her best. And I share now more than ever because I want people to see her before I didn't want anyone to see her. I was trying to figure it out for myself as a mom, how am I going to help her and I don't shy away from inserting her in situations. In fact, I feel like my husband and I more than ever now we're trying to like really double down on what we can provide her so because the real world is what it is she you know as much as we talk about it as much as there's acceptance and awareness and walks and fundraisers this then the other. The real world doesn't operate. I mean, hopefully one day it could be that way but it doesn't offer rate in the way in which it's not going to be challenging for kids like ours. So I need her within the scope of what she's able to comprehend and, and manage I need her to be learn things and be able to understand certain situations and be able to react to certain situations. And so for a few, you know, these are just examples of things that we did. And they're age appropriate, of course, but we enrolled her in dance classes, and they're just typical dance classes that any parent would roll their kid and dance class. And I did the whole spiel all over again, when I call the dance school. I mean, it wasn't a special needs program. It wasn't an inclusion program. It was just a regular dance school, I said, you know, I called the director, I said, Listen, this is our situation, we want her to be exposed to typical peers, we want her to learn, be in social settings, learn group instruction, listen to the instructor, all of these things that you're taught as a parent of a child on the spectrum that they need to learn. And we felt like putting her in that setting would help. And it was rough for a while, it was rough, and they were very gracious, they accepted her. And we love that program very much. And she has grown so much as a result of us just kind of making the effort and putting her in these situations. And, you know, we had a shadow for some time that was with her in class, and, you know, along the way, redirecting her and all of this, but over time we move the shadow, she didn't need the shadow anymore, then she was able to take the classes on her own, you know, the language skills started to progress, she would respond to the instructor, she would follow directions, she's done three recitals Wow, age, at a high school, but it's a big stage for a kid. And we're so proud of her progress. And I feel like it's a testament to being open to just putting her in that situation, like not being scared, because she's gonna have to interact with people. She has to learn, he's gonna be in group setting she needs to learn. And all the kids were great with her very gracious, and, you know, I'm happy this, you know, now she'll be in another school. But I'm happy that we're continuing on doing that, because we know that that's been beneficial for her. And that's, you know, we've enrolled her in tennis, that was more of an inclusion program. But that was still a good exposure for her. She's taking martial arts classes. And we're considering that she was doing a one on one martial arts classes. But I was talking to her instructor the other day, and they're, they're telling us that she might be ready to do group classes. So those are just little things that we've done to try to like, expose her. And I mean, this is not my main reason for doing it. Obviously, I'm thinking selfishly, for my kid be in these settings, right? Like, they have to have a kid that's different, so they can recognize and socialize and understand that there's different kids. Yeah, you know, not everyone talks the same way. Not everyone reacts the same way. It's good for them to be exposed to that too. Yeah, the same way, it's good for my kids to be exposed to those situations.

 

Chad Ratliffe  18:09

Yeah, it's been a blessing for my typical kids, you know, they have more empathy than I at age 10, than I had it, he just there's so much more evolved by being surrounded with the diversity, what do you say to the parent that is, in that place, that you were in kind of hiding, hoping that things are going to get normal, what has to happen between there and where you are now to like, get out of that way of thinking and that sort of shame.

 

Leti  18:42

I don't know that there's anything that I could say to a parent, that would make them feel better, all I would share is, in that I understand and everyone has their own timetable in which they're accepting of a certain situation, I can only share my experience and how it affected me and what I how I went about it, and what we've done throughout the few last few years, and where I am today, and what she's doing today. And that may or may not change your parents view of how they feel with their situation. Clearly, everyone knows every child on the spectrum is different. So what one parent is battling may not be what I'm battling and vice versa. So I don't know that I have anything specific to advise a parent like you know, to say all Don't worry, it gets better. Like I feel like that's not really understanding where they're at in terms of their feelings at that moment. Like they need to take the time that they need to get to a place where they feel comfortable with the situation and hopefully they get the resources that they need and just not give up and not. Also, you know, I could have when that direct our first experience was our daughter school when she was Just two years old, two and a half years old when they said after three days, she wasn't welcome anymore. No, that was disheartening. But I could have retreated and said, Well, I'm just gonna keep her at home until She's five years old. But I did it. I said, No, she can't be at home staring at Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, she needs to be in a setting with other kids her age, and we continued to press until we found the right spot. So maybe that would be my advice. My advice is, listen to the professionals, and be mindful of all of everything that everyone is saying. But as a parent, you ultimately know what's best. Like, you're the one living with the parent, you're dealing with a day in and day out, you have that gut reaction, that intuition that something's telling you what that child needs. And if someone's telling you different, I would challenge you to challenge that feeling. And just keep moving on to find something that's a better fit for your family.

 

Chad Ratliffe  21:02

I love that. Did you have to focus on you self care for you? How How to.

 

Leti  21:08

So yeah, there's ebbs and flows in that very early on, I was lost in this whole like life. Now this new information, I was very good about exercising Well, before I had my kid, and then you become a mom. And then of course, that could fall off the tracks. And I felt like it was very difficult for me to get back on. So I needed to pivot because I no longer had the time to spend two hours at a gym, I couldn't drive there, find a spinning class, wait for the spinning, wait for the bike, you know, all of these things. I'm like, No, I have a kid at home, I need to be home. And then as the child progress, and then we got all of this news, you know, it's so easy to kind of neglect yourself, right? Like, well, you have no time, you have to take the kid to all these therapies, and you have all these doctor's appointments. So there were moments where, you know, I didn't really do anything about that. And then I knew that I couldn't just kind of wallow away in my own like, depression. And like, oh, woe is me, like, this is my life. Like, I needed to do something about it. So I just started exercising at home. And that was the easiest thing for me to do. Because I didn't have the time to go anywhere else. And so I just started following home workouts. And they were very short and quick. Again, I didn't have like the one hour or the two hours that I once had before. I had her and that was like 20 minutes, 30 minute blocks, and I do it at home and I'm eat a lot. And that's been working for me since. And I haven't really looked back. I don't even think about going like a gym because I know that that's not for me anymore. I know that I just created this habit at home. And I hold myself accountable through a small group of moms, that we have this private group, a lot of times I host it, and we just check in on each other that way. All of us not all necessarily Special Needs Moms. We're just moms. It's been working for me, I feel like it's it's the most convenient and efficient way to take care of myself. So then I can be available to my family.

 

Chad Ratliffe  23:22

And did this turn into like I read a little bit about your bio, did this turn into eventually kind of turned into sort of a profession? Not sort of?

 

Leti  23:32

Yeah, yeah. So I'm an attorney by trade school for many years. And that's what I still do. And that's what I call my day job. And I work at a great place. And they're extremely flexible. And it's been a very life changing experience for me as an attorney. But this became kind of like a side gig a side hustle like a passion project, because I started working out when a friend just extended her hand to me and said, Listen, I'm doing this. So why don't you come do it with me. You don't have to go anywhere you do it on your you know, on your own time. And we just check in with each other. And I said, You know what, I need to do something. So this is what I'm going to start doing. And it's been seven years later, and I still do it. And so now, for me, it's paying it forward to other you know, primarily moms because that's, that's my audience. That's the audience that's going to relate to me and what I do on a daily basis as a mom and as a as a working mom, you know, mom working outside of the home sometimes. And so I know what that's like because it's what I do every day. So it's easier for me to relate in that sense and it's just become, you know, a side business. It's I love it. I help other moms try to find something that fits them fits their schedule, because it's hard. It's hard to finally say yes to yourself. When you're focused on the most important thing in your life which is out. But I always like to say if a mom is unhealthy, and a mom's not taking care of herself first or dad like you, yeah, then your kids are not going to be healthy. Right? Like you need to help yourself first before you can help other people. Otherwise you're drowning? Totally. You're not serving your your family. What's what I think

 

Chad Ratliffe  25:22

I'm with you, I support that. And I promote. I mean, working out for me as my psychiatrist. Yeah. So this little knee surgery thing that I got going is my own little personal challenge. Is this the kind of thing that like you can support parents outside your geographical region? Or is this something that people can contact you if they're looking for support today? Or how does that work?

 

Leti  25:46

Yeah, no, you don't have to be located, where I'm located. We have moms all over the country. In fact, some in Canada, some in the UK, some in France, I don't speak French. So I don't have anybody in France just yet. But I'm open to it. But mostly in the US, but it's all over because it's remote. So you can basically do it from anywhere now, we live in such a remote friendly society, it's so easy to connect with people via social media. We have that app. And so it's been great to connect with other moms, not necessarily where I'm located, but from anywhere else that understands the struggle.

 

Chad Ratliffe  26:24

Yeah. How do people reach out to you if they want to find out more about what you're doing? Yeah,

 

Leti  26:31

thank you. So they can I have an Instagram, my instagram handle is Le t o p rod Leto P Ron. And I have a Facebook page as well, which is my name, let desea below Rodriguez, that's the best way to reach out to me and connect. I'm on Instagram all the time sharing my daily life with my kid and as a mom, and as a working mom, and then what I do on a daily basis to kind of cope and stay sane.

 

Chad Ratliffe  26:59

Awesome. If you haven't done it already, after the show, will you email us the credentials so that I can put it in the show notes for people that want to reach out? Yeah, absolutely. I'm happy to do we do something like it's like a lightning round just to get more of your experience and thoughts. It's kind of like where you give a one word to short answer to some questions you have for trying it? Sure. What's the best advice you have received? Don't give up. I love it. What kind of course or retreat or training would you like to see out there for parents?

 

Leti  27:40

May I don't know if it's a course, but maybe just singular access to resources like something where it's easier for them to just go on a webpage and say, okay, in my state, this is what we could do for your family.

 

Chad Ratliffe  27:54

Very cool. What's the next thing on your list that you want to add for your individual? well being?

 

Leti  28:00

Yeah, that's a good question. I have so many things that I want to do. I feel like just spending time with my family is really important to me and traveling. And now that our daughter's older, I feel like this is not a one word answer. So it's not much lightning round. She's experiencing, you know, so much better now. And she loves a beach and the pool and we just got out of you know, we came from a cruise recently. And she had had such a great experience. And so I want to do more of that. I think that just inspires you and lifts your spirits more.

 

Chad Ratliffe  28:35

I love it. What's one thing you think would improve your life if you did it or had it?

 

Leti  28:40

I feel very immensely blessed today. I just feel like I wonder if just, I wonder if homeschool would be a good option for my kid. She's in a good place right now. But that was always something that I was thinking about in the back of my brain, like, at some point, could that be an option? And could that not only help her in terms of being having the flexibility to do so many other things not being chained to where you're located?

 

Chad Ratliffe  29:09

I like that I've thought about that. Do you have a favorite product you use for yourself, your child or your family that you just love and couldn't live without?

 

Leti  29:18

I use so many so many things for her, you know, among other things, she's extremely sensitive to her hair and she happens to have curly hair. So there's so many products out there for curly hair and I don't know anything about curly hair until I had her and I finally found this one product and I found it on Instagram. And I don't know if I could say the product name but it's been wonderful. It's called look I don't know if I'm saying you're right loose L U S for curly hair loose brand l US brands so any curly haired person out there? I would totally recommend shampoo, conditioner and the detangle Learn and it's been working wonders for for her for our kid.

 

Chad Ratliffe  30:04

That's awesome. Is there something that you believe to be true that most parents disagree with?

 

Leti  30:09

She was perfectly and uniquely made in her own way. There's nothing wrong with her. And maybe at one point, I thought, what happened? I don't think that anymore. And I don't think any parent should think that anymore because there are unique abilities in the world where we all we hear are the deficits that our kids have. There are also unique abilities that they hold, and we should cherish and highlight those that much more.

 

Chad Ratliffe  30:42

I love it. I've really enjoyed this conversation, I really appreciate that you take the time, with your busy life and your busy schedule, just kind of like from what we've talked about, or just like what's on your heart. What do you say to the parent that's out there saying to themselves, I'm not cut out for this, like, I don't I hear you got this, but I don't got this.

 

Leti  31:05

You may not have it right now, because you're still trying to navigate your own emotion around the news of your family. But trust and be confident that you are the absolutely right person to handle anything that's happening with your child. Nobody else is going to be able better equipped to handle it than you.

 

Chad Ratliffe  31:31

Well, that was a great answer. Lady again, thank you for taking the time to be with us today. I wish you and your family, the amazing life that it sounds like you've put together and thank you and I'll close with what I call a vision for you. And that's for all of you listeners out there. If life is challenging if you're feeling sad and lonely if you're feeling overwhelmed, naked parent nation and the naked parent podcast provides a framework for living that will help your life become bright wondrous and joy filled you will see how the path you've traveled can help other parents on a similar journey. No matter how dark life is today, you will be able to shed feelings of being a victim feelings of loss and come to accept it Enjoy life exactly as it is how you perceive life will change you will come to understand that higher consciousness will allow you the life of your dreams and beyond. Are these promises realistic? We think they are. Parents in naked parent nation are realizing these promises each and every day the vision will become your reality. If you put in the work through self care, meditation, love for our families and divine consciousness. May we all build a life beyond our wildest dreams. So thank you for listening today. Thank you, Letty, for being on this show. If you'd like to be a part of naked parent nation, email me at parents at the naked parent podcast.com We'll send you a free gift, put in the subject heading new member. And if you liked the show, please review it. Because the shows that have the most reviews get hosted on the podcast platforms. So in our effort to reach more parents, we would like the support of the podcast platforms to put our show up there to reach more people. So wishing you all the best. And thank you again. Until next time.