Show Notes

Chad continues his life story. When the financial crisis hit the world in 2008, He started getting depressed and went to using drugs.  His real estate business was hanged in the balance and devastated. He battled his way to the court after some bust happened.

In this episode, he wants to clear out our minds to bring us into the serenity of calmness through a short meditation.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

drugs, parent, people, homes, girlfriend, months, experiences, naked, wishes, selling, santa barbara, detoxing, equanimity, baby, judge, courtroom, stay, mortgages, mind, joy

SPEAKERS

Chad Ratliffe, chad ratliffe

Chad Ratliffe  00:00

So I thought I'll start manufacturing methamphetamine, and that's going to be the ticket to the real money. And things were getting out of control with my girlfriend, my dog that I had been on all those trips with for all those years sage died, and I was just starting to become broken. And that's when I started using drugs intravenously. And that fueled the fire into the deep darkness. I never ever ever imagined existed, let alone would be my reality.

00:43

Welcome to the daily naked parent podcast brought to you by Rocco blue. The first ever brand focused on supporting parents with special needs children. A good parent nation is a group of parents with special needs children, who are willing to give honorable, stripped it all down and take a look at ourselves, our parenting, our family and our plans create a life beyond our wildest dreams.

Chad Ratliffe  01:16

On today's episode, we'll be discussing Chad's Story Part Two. Hello naked parent nation and welcome to today's episode of The Naked parent podcast. My name is Chad ratliffe. And I'm your host. And before I introduce the topic of our show today, let's start by sharing the naked parent nation offering naked parent nations a worldwide community of parents and professionals raising children with all kinds of needs. We come together to share Naked Truth, support our fellow parents and inspire the inner growth that each of us needs to build the life and family of our dreams.

 For the parents that are struggling, we want you to know that we will love you until you can love yourself, for your children, we pray and send power from our collective group. As we come to understand our divine nature, we realize that there's no need to feel sorry for ourselves, be angry or feel lack, we come to understand that our feelings of limitation and separation are only in our minds. Through Self Realization, we expand our consciousness so that the challenges that perplex us today, dissipate one by one until we're able to see and experience gratitude and beauty in everything just as it is. We have the power to create any kind of life we want for ourselves and our families.

 We do this by living in the naked present moment, one day at a time. So if you're ready to continue your journey of awareness and consciousness, then let me welcome you to naked parent nation and the naked parent podcast. Before we get to the show today, let's take those most important minutes for ourselves and get grounded and centered and find that place where we can go whenever we need to, for peace and calm. So today, let's talk about cultivating a stable mind.

 Equanimity is the quality of remaining grounded and stable in the midst of our experiences. We know things can get chaotic and feel out of control. When we noticed suffering, we can respond with compassion. We don't have to lose our balance. By practicing calmness, we can cultivate a state of mind that keeps us grounded and flexible. Especially in the midst of all we have going on the household can get crazy. So close your eyes and find that posture that's comfortable for you. Preferably with your spine erect and then slowly lift your gaze to that space between your eyebrows. That spiritual center and bring your awareness to this present moment notice the sounds notice the feeling in your body and just take in your overall mental state realize that you're opening your awareness when something comes up, tune it to your mind.

Notice where you get knocked off balance this is the practice so that when the kids are around and the chaos comes we can handle it in a way that keeps our sanity keeps the household calm and really helps our children feel calm, giving them the best opportunity to grow notice the sounds in the room might be your child making noise from the other room just notice it notice the feelings in your body note notice your certain thoughts or feelings do they feel charged? Do they pull you from your calm state sit with this awareness of your own balance and just reflect on it when the thought comes in, let it go on through find that calm and peace and just sit now bring your mind to someone you care deeply about. Connect with your intention to care for this person. Recognize that although you may care for this person, you can't control their happiness we can't control anyone's happiness but ask yourself can you control your own happiness? Now offer these phrases may you be happy? Say that as you're thinking of this person, may you be happy and express and send back Montra to them may you be in charge of your happiness wishing that person the ability to control their own happiness. May you be in charge of your happiness Your happiness is dependent upon your actions not my wishes for you.

Your happiness is dependent upon your actions, not my wishes for you. Now send that thought to this person. Your happiness is dependent upon your actions, not my wishes. For you sit opening your heart to that person send them love compassion keep bringing yourself back to your breath long slow deep breaths in through your nose in long slow deep breaths out through your mouth now think of somebody else that you care about try and find somebody you know is dealing with some difficulty in their life, someone who's experiencing pain or suffering right now connecting your intention connecting with your intention to care for that person but remain stable offer these phrases of compassion and equanimity.

May you be free from suffering may you be free from suffering may you take action to care for your pain? May you take action to care for your pain your freedom is dependent upon your actions not my wishes for you. Your freedom is dependent upon your actions, not my wishes for you and finally, bring to mind somebody in your life who has recently experienced success or joy Have you identified that person who's experienced success or joy now offer a few phrases of appreciative Joy staying connected to your calmness and equanimity wishing them may your joy continue May your joy continue may you be in charge of your joy may you be in charge of your joy and finally, your joy is in your hands and it's not dependent upon my wishes for you. You Your joy is in your hands and is not dependent upon my wishes for you. And then connect with your breath while your hearts open for all three people. When you're ready, come back to your body. Come back to your own X variances of calmness of pain, of joy. We know they all circulate at times.

 And we need to be able to remain calm throughout all these experiences before you open your eyes, recognize that your happiness is in your own hands. And make sure that your happiness isn't dependent upon anyone else or anything else. And finally, be proud of your effort today in practicing this cultivation of a stable mind, encouraging happiness for yourself. It's a blessing that you give yourself to take this time. And I'm grateful to have shared those few moments with all of you. And it seems like a terrible segue into part two of my story. And the reason it's a terrible segue only I know at this point, because I know what part two of my story actually is. But let's recap a little bit about what we're doing. And about part one, like we talked about in the first part, this is the last time I'm going to tell my story. And further into this process, we're going to discuss in more depth why we need to get rid of our stories and why our story is keeping us stuck. So I'm recording my story for one so that you all get to know me better. Maybe it'll help you understand why I'm so passionate about what I'm passionate about why I'm doing what I'm doing.

There'll be a recording, if there's any benefit for it in the future for any reason, I can just hand over the recording rather than reliving all of these moments of pain, suffering, victimhood and the past, because it's no longer here. And we I need to stop suffering from something that happened. A year ago, a month ago, 10 years ago, 30 years ago, it's over. The last time we we talked about things up until high school where basketball became very important. And the only thing that mattered was getting to the NBA and then the disaster that happened at the end of high school. And the disaster happened because of the way I handled things. It was 100% on me. That led to a lot of traveling, which was amazing. 50 states and 40 countries overseas and so many experiences.

And I think the main part that I want to focus on is that I never stayed anywhere longer than three months for the most part. It really became like a thing that like three months would come and I would I mean, I think I even took off at three months sometimes just because that became my thing. It was like I was a wandering guy. And that's it. I was just a wanderer. You know, I would leave at the credits of a movie where a girl probably thought we were dating and and I'd whisper in her ear. I'm thinking of one in particular and I just said I got to hit the road. Remember tear in her eye. I really believed all of us. I believed that I needed to keep moving and keep wondering But there were a lot of great experiences. Amazing. It was it was it was, I mean, it's wild to think about, it seems like another world.

But it happened. And I came back to the United States to build some roots after getting strangled unconscious in Tunisia, Africa. And I went out to Santa Barbara from Michigan because Santa Barbara was the most beautiful place I'd ever been, and had the greatest whether it was in the United States, went to Santa Barbara and I still had that, that, like need for lots of stimulation. I still had that. Something needed to be new new people every three months. And so I partied hard. I tried to go to school again. Then I build the business, then I'd lose a business, partying hard because the money in the business I thought I needed so bad, didn't like fulfill that hole I had in my chest. So I go to drugs. To get rid of that feeling, get rid of that pain. And on one of the business runs, I got really into real estate when I started selling real estate. I came up with my own unique niche to take money from Santa Barbara, people that couldn't buy in this market didn't invest in the Central Valley, Central Coast. We started buying a lot of homes, there was a lot of appreciation in those areas. And we were putting, I was putting homes under contract I hadn't even seen. I was selling a lot of homes, especially for the Santa Barbara market, because a lot of agents would sell 123 homes a year, you know, and I was selling 10 to 1520 homes a month. And they're wondering what's going on, of course, the sales were a lot smaller.

 But then I realized it was sort of a cookie cutter loan. So I started a mortgage company and I started doing the mortgages on those homes. And now we were putting homes under contract we hadn't even seen and I'm doing the mortgage for it. And now these people that lived in Santa Barbara that wanted to do a few investments outside of the area, and eventually sell them so that they could buy in Santa Barbara, they needed somebody to manage the property. So I started a property management company. So I'm doing real estate sales, doing the mortgages and managing the properties. I was making pretty good money. And so I started buying houses myself. And I think at one point I had, I don't know 10 or 11 homes that I owned, some that I was remodeling, some that I was waiting to do lots splits, some that were just to be rented out. And my monthly carrying costs was around 100,000 a month. And then the recession of 2008 hit. And these amazing adjustable rate mortgages that I was setting up for myself and everybody else ballooned. And now the rents weren't covering the mortgages anymore. And things started getting really scary.

 And people started freaking out. And I started to see that this was turning out really bad. And as it spun out of control, I started using drugs to provide some relief from this unknown that we were all facing. And I had never really been through a cycle before. I mean, if you ask anybody who's been in real estate for a long time, you'd have to prepare for these cycles, but I was buying homes for myself and for clients. Like the market was never going to change and we homes were just going to keep appreciating and the mortgages were just going to stay at the low interest rate. And when this recession hit, things went up, side down, and the only relief like I said was drugs and alcohol that spared my life. way out of control. And in order to support my habit, and to try and keep this 100,000 A month in costs getting paid, I started selling drugs. And you can imagine, you know, and I needed to make so much money that it wasn't just, you know, selling to a few friends here and there, you know, I had 10 runners at one point, selling 24/7 And I was selling 24/7. And we, I met a girl.

 During that time, my real estate businesses are falling, I've done a bunch of hard money loans with people, those people are wanting their loans paid in full. I didn't have the money I'm trying to sell more drugs to to cover all of this and wasn't able to do it. So I thought, I'll start manufacturing methamphetamine. And that's going to be the ticket to the real money. And things were getting out of control with my girlfriend, my dog that I had been on all those trips with for all those years, Sage died. And I was just starting to become broken. And that's when I started using drugs intravenously. And that fueled the fire into the deep darkness. I never ever ever imagined existed, let alone would be my reality. And fast forward with 17 broken doors in the garage from my girlfriend coming home and breaking the door down thinking I had some girl in the room and me breaking down the door thinking she had some guy in the room. I came down the hill and was surrounded by cop cars, SWAT team Department of Defense, the gang task force, the meth Task Force. And I had a Volvo country wagon. It was my attempt at being incognito and looking like a family person. They shoved me in the back of the car and they drove back up to the house. So it would look like I was coming back. And I think they arrested my turn over 10 people that day. And I don't know if it was the next day or a couple days after in the paper. It's the you know drug ring busted my picture in the center everybody else's picture around the circle. And I'm off to jail. Friend refinanced her house to get me bail.

And I ended up picking I got out on bail. I'm awaiting this trial, facing 10 years in prison for sales and distribution of drugs manufacturing methamphetamine and a whole other slew of things. I end up picking up five more cases, including, you know, one time when a 19 year old hooker overdoses in the hotel, and I had to decide if I was going to just let her die or call the police. And at the time, I guess nowadays, if you call the police because somebody's dying, you can't get arrested for possession I think is what I hear. But I couldn't just let her die. I called they helped me resuscitate her. They showed up they arrested me again. But like I said I picked up five cases while I was waiting this big trial and and then we found out that my girlfriend was pregnant.

She's still using drugs and in and out of jail, awaiting this trial. And one day we're in the courtroom. And there's nobody in the courtroom it was really really bizarre. I've never seen anything like it. You know, I'm I'm detoxing, you know, from being in jail and being without drugs or enough drugs. I mean, I I could get in a little bit in there to not go into full detox but not enough to stay okay. And but there was nobody in the courtroom and I had an attorney and I the judge said, Oh, this is what happened. So I just wanted to get out on bail. And my girlfriend was there and she's you know, either do detoxing are still under the influence. And she's freaking out and they put her up on the stand. And for some reason that the DEA questioned her in a way and got her to start answering questions and got her to admit that I was selling drugs. And I screamed, like, What the fuck? You know what the fuck is going on? I scream at my attorney, like how did this just happen? You know, why didn't you object? We're not even here.

On those types of questions. We're just here to try and get me out on bail because my girlfriend was going to be homeless or have to go back to this completely insane house that I may or may not get into in a little bit. But basically, he just let her answer a question that incriminated me for this case that I wanted to try and lie about and pull off. That was upcoming. And with that admission, the judge said, well, since there's nobody else in the courtroom, and we have this, why don't let's, why don't we try and, you know, sort this out, let's figure out what we're going to do. So I was freaking out, they put me in the little cell behind, you know, behind the courtroom well, and then my attorney comes back and I flipped out on him bad. And he ends up firing me. At that time. I'm just like, What the fuck is wrong with you? You're, you know, idiot. How could you let this happen? Somehow the judge made him like, come back and work things out with me. And anyway, he said, Well, what do you want to do? He said, I think he was telling me, I think we should they, they were going for 10.

 I think they were offering seven years. And he was saying, I think we need to go, why don't we ask for four and see if we can get you four years in prison. And I was like, hell no, I'm like, I'm here to get out today. Like, I want to take care. My mom was gonna let us move in. But only she wouldn't let my girlfriend move in unless I was there. And so I said, I need to be out. Otherwise, she's going to be homeless or have to go back to this. totally dark and dirty, insane plays with gangbangers and smart porn. Video, people it was horrid. I mean, like it was, so it was so bad that they their goal was they wanted to. They wanted to on video rape and take the baby out and kill the baby on video. I mean, it was that kind of it was really dark. And I was set I just wanted to I was messed up. I was insane at that time. And so I said, No, I'm not. I said, I want out today. And the guy's like, you can't We can't do that. I'm like, you work for me, man, like you work for me. That's what I won. So he goes back out there. And he's like, Your Honor. You know, I don't know how to say this.

But I tried to represent my client here. And he says he wants out today. And just kind of fast forward in the DA laughs and he puts up the file this huge file. And they had been following me for six months, and they had all the evidence they needed. And he's like, Heck, no, heck, no. And then the judge, I'll never forget, never, ever, ever forget this. The guy's name was Judge Lodge, he was the oldest judge on the stand in the state of California. He was serving his 50th year on the stand. He kind of like calmed everything down. He started looking in the eyes of my girlfriend, and I am in the jumpsuit with the you know, handcuffs, my legs and hands and and he said most likely this kid's going to be a victim of the system looking at our backgrounds. And he said how sad it was and and he said, but I'm going to overrule the DA. And was like he was gonna give us a chance he was gonna give this kid a chance. The DA is like, what are you talking about? Your Honor, you can't do that.

 And I got out later that day. It was unbelievable. And you'd think that I would have come to my senses. But as soon as I got out, I went to go hook up with some more drugs. But guess what, nobody would take my call. The only way a drug dealer gets out of a charge like that is if you rats on somebody. And while that wasn't the case, I wasn't going to convince anybody else of that. So Oh, nobody would take my call. And it turned out to be, you know, a real blessing for me. But I get out that day, we stay at my parents for a little bit. And then we move into this 400 square foot barn. And our journey of sobriety begins, you know, we were mentally ill going to outpatient treatment. I remember I was up all night long every night, and I would go digging through the trash cans at the secondhand stores. I don't know why I didn't realize that was illegal. I thought like, Oh, they're throwing it out or whatever.

But I would come home and like, line stuff up on the driveway, all this stuff that I had collected, it was like, the only way I could keep my mind busy. And I was always up every night, for such a long time that it was just I was kind of wired that way. And kind of started on this journey. And and we made it to the point to have the baby, the police were there ready to take the baby, they were, you know, going to test the baby. And if there was any drugs in the system, they were going to take the baby and they were prepared to do that, because they assumed that was going to be the case. And it wasn't the case. And we had the baby. And it was America, it was a miracle baby. And you know, the doctors we had the we had a specialist that was there. I mean, all had to be special because of our background and the way we were handling things and and we got this amazing baby.

And she was a miracle baby in many ways. We named her Isabella, the name is devoted to God, because how did the judge let us out? Let me out. And how did we get this baby without there being something that we knew of more that was wrong. So it was a it was a wild journey. I never thought I'd be the guy that was facing 10 years in prison. I never thought I'd be manufacturing methamphetamines doing drugs intravenously hanging out with the kind of people that we were surrounded with. And, and that was the ringleader of them practically. So it was just it's just insane to reflect on. But it got us to the point where we were starting a family. And I don't know where eight 910 11 months sober at this point. And living in a 400 square foot barn. And I think I'm just gonna leave it at that for today. I'm gonna make that Chad's Story Part Two. And in part three, we're gonna get, we're gonna go from there to present day. And I'm going to tell you the story of the rise and fall of the five kids that we had within six years, within a six year period. And there's some really amazing things. And I mean that both in positive and negative way that happened. So thanks for hanging with me for part two, and I will see you in part three.

chad ratliffe  38:38

This concludes our show for today. And I'd like to personally thank you for spending the time with us on a topic near and dear to our hearts. If you'd like to be part of the naked parent nation, and help us reach those parents that are struggling and overwhelmed, there's no better way to help them by subscribing rating and reviewing the show on iTunes. iTunes highlights the shows based on these metrics. And the more the show gets highlighted, the more opportunities people will have to be introduced to the show where they can hear that message of hope, or that tip that can change everything. So follow the link in our show notes. And we hope to have you back here tomorrow where we'll do it again. From the team here at the naked parent podcast we wish you the life you've always dreamed of and then some so long