Show Notes

 

Ronald is a licensed barber who has a passion to serve the special needs community. He has a son who’s 16 and is on the spectrum.  He remembers what his wife and he went through when he did not like getting his haircut. It was very difficult for them and him.  So, because he knows what we went through, he wants to make it easier for other families with a sensory-friendly mobile barbershop.  This shop will serve as a safe haven for families because they will no longer have to travel to a barbershop. They will also enjoy the privacy of their loved ones and start having some difficulties receiving a haircut. 

He greatly appreciates any help and supports you can provide and makes this possible for those who struggle with this service.

Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ronald.berrian.56

Website: https://urlis.net/g6rzat71

Instagram: https://urlis.net/8795iefr

 

Are you still in shock that you are a parent of a special needs child?
This show is for parents who are morning the loss of the life and child they thought they would have. For parents who are tired, lonely, and see no hope in sight?

You will learn how to deal with your non-verbal child with a sensory processing disorder, seizures, meltdowns, haircuts, and family trips. Embark on a journey of consciousness, self-care & meditation.

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

parent, child, cut, people, feel, hair, naked, haircut, autism, wife, barber, son, man, diagnosed, home, daughter, care, situation, struggling, knew

SPEAKERS

Ronald Berrian, Chad Ratliffe

 

Ronald  00:00

Our goal is to get a mobile barbershop. Yeah, we want a mobile gear because that's what I felt like God showed me they get a mobile barbershop because a lot of parents, they have the anxiety and the stress of knowing that the last time they went to this barber shop child didn't like it. What if I could come alleviate the travel time and the stress, you come outside your door, or somewhere near your house where you don't have to travel far? Yeah, and come in a safe place where it's a bunch of music overstimulating environment and make it a more comfortable environment for everybody get a haircut. Man,

 

Chad Ratliffe  00:38

I think you're in the zone right now. I mean, I can feel this mobile barbershop. I mean, I was I would be there, no doubt. And giving them an environment that they can start to recognize. It's not it's not a new look. All the things you said, Man, I think you're in the zone. I love what you're doing. Yeah, man.

 

Ronald  00:59

So at our first event, a young lady came brung her son, and she like did a documentary about it.

 

Chad Ratliffe  01:07

Welcome to the daily naked parent podcast brought to you by Rocco blue. The first ever brand focused on supporting parents with special needs children. A good parent nation is a group of parents with special needs children, who are willing to give honorable, stripped it all down and take a look at ourselves, our parents, our family and our plans create a life beyond our wildest dreams. On today's show, we'll be discussing how do you get your child a haircut without it being a traumatic experience? Hello naked parent nation and welcome to today's episode of The Naked parent podcast. My name is Chad ratliffe. And I'm your host. And before I introduce you to our guest today, let me start by sharing the naked parent nation offering. Naked parent nation is a worldwide community of parents and professionals raising children with all kinds of needs. We come together to share Naked Truth support our fellow parents, and inspire the inner growth that each of us needs to build the life and family of our dreams. For the parents that are struggling, we want you to know that we will love you until you can love yourself, for your children, we pray and send power from our collective group. As we come to understand our divine nature, we realize that there's no need to feel sorry for ourselves be angry, or feel lack, we come to understand that our feelings of limitation and separation are only in our minds. Through Self Realization, we expand our consciousness so that the challenges that perplex us today, dissipate one by one until we're able to see and experience gratitude and beauty and everything just as it is. We have the power to create any kind of life we want for ourselves and our families. We do this by living in the naked present moment, one day at a time. So if you're ready to continue your journey of awareness and consciousness, then let me welcome you to naked parent nation and the naked parent podcast. So on today's show, we have Ronald Barrie. And did I say that right, Ronald, you said it correctly. And we're excited to have you and hear your story. Can you tell us a little bit about you and maybe your family dynamic or makeup?

 

Ronald  03:31

Okay, so I'm 46 years old, married to my beautiful wife going on. 19 years? Yes. 19 years. Now, you know what actually going on? 20 years? Yeah, sorry. Go No. 20 years. We have three children, two by marriage. And our oldest is my stepson. My oldest is 29 or 30. The middle? Our daughter is 19. And our youngest is 17. And he has autism.

 

Chad Ratliffe  04:07

Awesome, man. Congratulations on that marriage. You know, that's not everybody that comes on the show.

 

Ronald  04:13

Yeah, it definitely was going the other way.

 

Chad Ratliffe  04:17

It takes a toll. And sometimes the people we care about the most are the ones who get the worst. You're 17 year olds on the spectrum. Yes. When did you notice that something was different than maybe what was going on with your other kids at that age?

 

Ronald  04:33

Yes. So I have say about one and a half. Well, he had some difficulties at birth. He was a C section child, so it was scheduled, but he had bad acid reflux. And he was going through that. But other than that, he was quiet, quiet baby. And then um, all of a sudden we there's After he got his shots, there's something change. This is a lot of parents stories, story by his a lot of other parents didn't go through this. But for us, we just noticed a big change. After he got all those shots together. He started staring at the ceiling fan, standing on his toes, rocking back and forth. No, I can't contact not sleeping. Just everything just turned, like bad. Like we wasn't getting no sleep. It was just horrible. And we knew something was going on. But we just didn't know the name of it. Yeah. And so a couple of people or family member mentioned autism to us. And we was like, we know something going on. So we won't give them evaluation. He has happened. He happened to get two evaluations and the same week. Like days apart. And they came over diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and from their life turned upside down. It was we were already struggling. I mean, financially was already struggling. Then the funny thing we did not wanting to know more children after our daughter was born. I was like, No, we are struggling, we'll need to bring them more kids and his world like this. Let's get ourselves together. I was on my way to get a vasectomy. And then I know this. My wife was getting sick. Yeah, morning sickness. And I just looked at it. I said, you pregnant. She was like, You think so? Once or the doctor? He pregnant? They looked at us because they knew our situation. They was like, what you're going to do? Like, are you gonna have abortion? We're like, No, we're not doing that. So we're for had had Jr. And it's been a journey. It's been very hard. And we still climbing. We're still climbing, he has gotten a lot better, because he's in residential care. Thank God for that. He's in a good place where he's getting the treatment. We seen his behavior turn around within a year of being in there. He was in another residential place. And it was horrible. He he hated it. He just couldn't say it. Yeah, but his actions proved that he didn't like what was going on there. So once we took them, got them out of there, gone to another place, because of the other place had a bunch of lawsuits pending. And insurance was like, they couldn't tell us to take them out. But it was like we're pulling funding. And at the time, we was like, well, we're gonna go because you know, it's already scary. Putting your child in residential care. And then knowing you might have to put them to another place and got to trust a whole nother set of people. Even though you're in like, what was going on there? I'll say. So they sent us a letter. Once we looked at it, we was like, Well, what if we want them to stay there? They was like, Alright, fine, he could stay there. Then they sent us another letter. And we felt like I was saying, Get them out of there. So he pulled them out there. And his behaviors in turn around right away. But like, we couldn't bring them home. Like he got to the point where we couldn't bring him home on the weekends. We could just go see him four hour a week. And that's it. Because every time we will get them in the car to bring them back. He will go off. I mean, kicking screaming hitting us. We in the car holding them because we like we don't want to call the police. Yeah, you know, because we all know what's gonna happen. Yeah. You know, that was a scary situation that happened so many times for us. We was in a situation just me and my wife. And then sometimes our children had to face you know, some of the stuff we was going through and be put in a situation where we needed the help. We hated that they had to do that. Yeah, we didn't have nobody else to turn to when we were worn out.

 

Chad Ratliffe  09:14

Wow. That's heavy stuff, man. Because a lot, just going back just for a second. You knew something was up, you've taken for the evaluation. It comes back you have a name for it now. What's that feeling like for you in your life?

 

Ronald  09:31

How are we knew? Sorry, we already knew something was wrong. But once we got the name, I was just sitting there like, wow, like something else to deal with? Because I have lupus. So I have lupus. I got diagnosed when I was 19. So I've been living with lupus at that time for a while before I've met my wife. And so now, you know I'm going back and forth to the doctor again. and medication stuff. And now, we got to deal with something else that's even worse than I feel like what I was going through at the time. Because I know, like us, we know how to deal with pain for ourselves. But when your child is dealing with something, you don't know how to really comfort them, you know, saying we know how much we can take, but we don't know how much our children can take. Yeah, so you want to do everything to bring them some kind of comfort? And then our situation, it was very hard because it was like, we didn't have an answer for anything.

 

Chad Ratliffe  10:37

Did you and your wife respond in a similar way to the situation? Or, you know, sometimes? One is over here on ones here, right? Have you guys been on the same page? Or has that been a challenge?

 

Ronald  10:50

Yeah, fortunately, we've been on the same page. Like, neither one of us was I ended now like, No, I don't accept that. Not my child. You know, we was like, Okay, what we need to do? Yeah, yeah. And we started getting them services and trying to get them in the best programs, schools possible. But at the time, it was nothing could help him with his behavior. I mean, no medication. Nothing was working. He was just hyper, and very aggressive. Wow. And this is going on for since he got diagnosed with like, two, all the way up to even to now 17, maybe three weeks ago, and they had an outing, where he's at. He was in the mall. And for some reason, he usually fine. They haven't had any issues. Some reason this day. I don't know what happened. He started getting aggressive. He bid a pedestrian. Yeah, thank God, they didn't want to sue or anything or they did get hurt. But you know if that was us in the mall with him, and they happen, I don't know. Yeah, it would have been worse. Because it was just been us to him. He's big and strong. You know? Yeah. And we would have been sweating. How many for hell? So we're like the same height, I'm sure. But he's stocky. Like he's real stocky. Like, he's 561 94.

 

Chad Ratliffe  12:28

Dang. Yeah. So he Yeah, you so if he's mad, you can't put him down?

 

Ronald  12:36

Exactly. I mean, I had to. Yeah, a few times. Actually, a lot of times, me and my wife and our son, our daughter had to just hold them down and restrain them. They keep him safe, and they keep us safe. Yeah, many times throughout the years, and we've been going through this for years and years. And it is at one time we was when the opportunity for him to get into residential care. We were born to the brink of insanity. Yeah, that's how bad it was. We talked about no sleep, aggression. Him having obsessing over certain foods and, and things he he wants to go on rides all the time. So we're not getting sleep. Both of us can't work. So financially restrap was struggling. We were relying on Social Security and SSI and stuff like that even to today. Yeah. Is it still the same way? Yeah. You know, it's very hard.

 

Chad Ratliffe  13:39

Is he verbal? He will say where

 

Ronald  13:41

he went, and he, okay. And like, and the funny thing is, like when he was young, he used to speak with a regular tone Lau even if he was laughing or mad. Now he talked real, real quiet, rural Soph hmm. And you can't get them just speak up like in the regular tone. As I say he's, he's mad about some and he just blurted it out. But other than that, he just say, like, go for a ride. You know? I'll say it. Yeah. You know, but if Well, as we like, we will take that. You know, we'll take that over the other stuff we've been through. Yeah, no, that's the least of our problems.

 

Chad Ratliffe  14:23

So what's the experience been like for the siblings? It was

 

Ronald  14:27

rough. A lot of depression, a lot of frustration. You know, a lot of crying in front of especially for our daughter, our son. You know, he had just played his go play his game he had be to sell but our daughter really was hands more hands on than our son. She got hit a lot. She missed out on a lot, because we couldn't afford it. for that. We had to give a lot of attention to our our son. He is

 

Chad Ratliffe  15:00

It's heavy. Yeah, I feel you. My kids have scars from their siblings bite. And when did you become a barber?

 

Ronald  15:10

It's all started, I started having a passion for cutting here. When I got here, I started cutting my own here. I was cutting our oldest son here. And then when Ronald Jr. was born, that's when they happen. Because I couldn't cut this here. He did not like getting his hair cut. Yeah. But if so we had to hold them down, right just to cut his hair all busca it all even just looking

 

Chad Ratliffe  15:37

and freaking out your home

 

Ronald  15:39

is Zack we all and he at the time, he was so puny by it, but he was still strong. He would get out of our locks. And it was horrible. And but we knew if we would gave up, he will never be in the position where he's at now. Yeah. It just went on for years and years, few years with him not wanting to get haircuts, and all sudden, it just changed. What changed? I don't know. Yeah. We just kept trying and trying. And then he stopped resisting it more to the point when I was able to just cut his hair off. But I couldn't give him a lineup or anything. And then, you know, every time I cut his hair, I tried to do everything I can. And whatever he don't allow me to do I when I just try again, all of a sudden, I was able to get them all lined up. They say I know. He's getting the full hair cut. I never took her to a barbershop though, because I was having I had a passion for cutting here. And so in the midst of going through that, I really felt like God showed me like it was so many people. And so many families out here going through the same thing you're going through. So I was like, wow, I wish I could go to barber school to get my license so I can start cutting other children here on the spectrum. But I couldn't do it because our son was home. And he took up all of our time. And once he was able to get through residential care, I was like, Alright, I'm going to school. So I couldn't find a barber school though, credited barber school, I couldn't find one that take financial aid where I met because I'm in Philadelphia. So at the time, I just was like, I go to cosmetology, get some experience, you know, start there, and then do barber later on. So I went to cosmetology for six months. And most of the time I was frustrated, because I wasn't doing what I really wanted to do. I didn't mind doing women here. That's just not what I wanted to focus on. So I do have some skills where I could do when we're here now. But I wanted to learn Barbara and could that's what I wanted to do. So in the midst of my frustration, I went back online again, look for barbering school, and one popped up about 15 miles. It was a little right for me. But I was like, I don't care. If they allowed me to come here. I'm going. And I started the paperwork got in. It took me about 1617 months, going there in the evening. And so I just graduated last September and grabbed my license. Yeah, thank you got my license is he September, he had to be like, around November, December, got my license. I was like, I wonder why I was in school the whole time. I said, I'm not worrying about being the best barber like a YouTube Barber. I wasn't worried about any of that. I said, I want to focus my craft on servicing those special needs. Ah, that's awesome. And that's what I kept telling people. And so me and my family, we are trying to start a nonprofit organization so that we can provide this service for free because I don't want to charge you and I'm saying I feel bad having to charge a parent even though they don't care. They like as long as you do it. I'll pay Yeah, so we are in the beginning stages of starting a nonprofit organization. Awesome cuts. We want to Instagram. We're doing free hair cut events around Philadelphia area every month at different organizations are businesses that will allow us to come near and are cut between 10 to 12 people here either the younger oh don't make it don't matter. And female Sue, you know Little girls when they haircut, I get cut the hair too. And so we just started. We had two events so far. We have one coming up this month. And we have a fundraising comedy show that's coming up that a comedian is doing on our behalf, who was our our goal is to get a mobile barbershop. Yeah, we want a mobile gear kit. That's what I felt like God showed me they get a mobile barbershop. Because a lot of parents, first of all, they have the anxiety and the stress of knowing that the last time they went to this barber shop, they didn't, their child didn't like it. Now I gotta try to do it again. So what if I could come alleviate the travel time and the stress you come outside your door, or somewhere near your house where you don't have to travel far? Yeah. And get in come in a safe place where it's not a bunch of music, a bunch of overstimulating environment, you know, and make it a more comfortable environment for everybody to get a haircut. And what if they don't even get a haircut that time? Because they still can't take these? You know, I'll be back.

 

Chad Ratliffe  21:13

Yeah. Man, I think you're in the zone right now. I mean, I can feel this mobile barbershop. I mean, I was I would be there, no doubt. giving them an environment that they can start to recognize. It's not it's not a new look. All the things you said, Man, um, I think you're in the zone. I love what you're doing. Yeah, man.

 

Ronald  21:38

It's a very Yeah, I'm telling you. So at our first event, a young lady came brung her son, and she like, did a documentary about it. And it went viral. I mean, it was on so many people, platforms, it made it to HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE platform, or Instagram. She shared it. And we went from little bit over 400 followers to now we're over 1000 flowers. Wow. Like it just it was like following this was coming. This coming in, fall, fall fall off. I'm like, Oh, my goodness, like what is happening? And we're getting requests in New York, Florida, Tennessee, Texas, California. The whole country? Yeah, is saying, You're gonna when you come in here, and like we want to become a 501 C, nonprofit, so we can get funding from other companies and stuff that will sponsor sponsor as they make the hair cut and free.

 

22:44

Yeah, you know, man, you're gonna have trucks everywhere. That's what we want. I love it.

 

Chad Ratliffe  22:53

Man, I really do. I love it. It's like it's turning a negative into a positive man. It's yeah, it's turning a negative into a positive. It's creating. It's helping people on a path. That's really difficult man, like raising special needs kids.

 

Ronald  23:10

It's heavy. Yeah, it is. It's very heavy. You know,

 

Chad Ratliffe  23:13

my kids hair was too long. I mean, this is a couple of days ago, my son's hair every week. I'm like, I need to cut a need to get a cut. I need to get a cut. But it's going to be a big experience. The hairs in his face. I know the teachers at school are talking about it. I'm stressing out over it. Finally, I walked to a place and said, Hey, can you do his hair? They said no, we're not set up for that. You know. So it's like, put your head down. Walk over the next place. Yeah, we can do it. And like I told you before the show about 10 Suckers later, I'm holding them down. He's got sticky hair all over his face on his lips all over. You know, he's like, right? The guy's like trying to take swings with the thing at his hair. Just get a little chunk and ah, yeah, we left and he had like this bowl cut, you know, just with jagged bangs. So I love what you're doing, man. That's really cool. Thank you. You've been on this journey for a while. Yeah. Some people are just getting diagnosis. You know, they're good. Two or three years old. They just got diagnosed, and the parent is falling into a low depression. And they're like, I'm not going to be able to do this. What do you say to them? What do you what do we say that? What do we say to them?

 

Ronald  24:31

One thing I will say is stick close to the people who really care about you. And stay away from the people who don't, because your village become very small. Sometimes that's not for everybody. Some people they have people that rally around them and be like, Hey, what's going on? We're here to help. But for most is like, Oh, you can come out in the more you can hang out No more. Oh, okay. Oh again, I did hurt hear about your son, your daughter. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But they can't do nothing for you. And you're going to feel rejected, and you're going to feel hurt. But guess what, they can't do not for you. They don't even understand. They can rationalize and they mind what you're going through no matter what you say, I'm not getting sleep, my finances are depleted. And this would this what we've been through, you know, hey, my finances deplete depleted, I'm struggling. And then when you hear when you don't hear these words, how can I help you? What can I do? That's like a gut punch. Like, man, I've known you 20 plus years. And you never offered me nothing. Now, even five hours. Now, even packet diapers is no formula, you that you didn't even come see me. You know, and, and for us, it was bad it like we went through depression rejection, we're still going to step down. I'm just starting to see a therapist, you know, you know, some of the stuff I've been through as a child and going through autism and having my own health issues and health home mental health issues that I'm I'm just finding out about, you know, is, yeah, this can send you over the edge. You know,

 

Chad Ratliffe  26:36

what's the name of that company? Awesome. Awesome.

 

Ronald  26:38

Awesome. Cut. Awesome.

 

Chad Ratliffe  26:41

I feel like that's, I feel like that's the positive train that's coming to town to get behind it. And I'm gonna pray about that for you. Thank you. Most couples that have a special needs child get divorced. Yes. It's too much on the marriage. How did you guys? How

 

Ronald  27:05

are you? As a man? Ever? Right? Yep. It's better together. Okay, because besides autism, I had my own issues. You know, I'm saying, my own men issues, you know, being out there being brought up wrong. Thinking broke, not not being mature. You know, I have my own issues. And then when you add autism on top of it, man, it just magnified everything. Right. You know, now, we really can't get together. We can't even gold spinning out. We'll have no free time together. Yeah. So that right there. It takes a lot of prayer, and a lot of faith to say we're gonna stick through this. All right. We in this together, because I'm one thing I always, even before autism came in my life. When I when I was younger. I always said, you know, I don't want to be a divorcee. You know, saying, I never wanted to be in a position where, or even before even getting married, having, you know, a child and not being with the mom. I never wanted that. I never wanted that. But I would make it very hard for it not to be that way. Yeah. I like it. I think I for my wife because I just, I don't know, us stronger person that I've met besides her. I believe that. Yeah, I believe that I've really put this together and we're not seeing her. She was taking care of my mother. Because she was a respiratory therapist. And she was in the hospital. And I came to see my mom and I seen her it was just something about her. It was even like she had on some type scrubs. And her body was showing it was just something. I felt like I needed to get to know her. So I got to know her. And, you know, now you talk about almost 20 years of marriage, and a lot of hardship. A lot of forgiving a lot of talks. I think that's the hardest thing when you mess up having to sit and sit in what you did. You know, a lot of times we don't want to keep getting questions about our mistakes and our faults, especially when this repeated stuff. Right, you know, and it took a lot. I'm talking about like please don't don't bring it up again. But it was like I've been doing calls this so I had to sit and then for anyone out there that's married and you you're a concert to play in on leaving your spouse, please don't work it out. I'm telling you, you might not think that you can forgive somebody over something. I mean, in some cases, you do need to leave. Alright. I'm not saying stay in abuse or anything like that. Yeah. But if it's something besides mental or physical abuse that you're facing, that's working out. Yeah. I'm telling you, I know you feel like you can't forgive that person. Because you always said, if somebody did this to me, I will never forgive him. Yeah, but you do have the power to forgive.

 

Chad Ratliffe  30:38

Yeah, I've been in court for four and a half years, man is all negative, no positive. Nobody wins. The attorneys are the only ones who come out with anything in that situation. It's all ugly. So I second what you're saying, your story for me has been very inspiring. I know the listeners feel the same way. And I appreciate that you the authenticity and just laying it, laying it down. I want to celebrate your awesome cuts. And I hope you'll stay connected with us. And when you take that next step, let's do another episode and announce that next step you down with that?

 

Ronald  31:23

I'm definitely down with it. All right.

 

Chad Ratliffe  31:26

And hey, any contact information for people that are in your area? Will you send that over to us so that we can put it in the show notes?

 

Ronald  31:34

Show? Well, we have a GoFundMe page of like I said, we have in a comedy show. If you in the Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York area you want to come out to help us get this mobile barber shop. Please, we will love the See you there.

 

Chad Ratliffe  31:54

I think yeah, it's common. So thanks again. Say hello to your wife for me. Thank you. Well, you know, tell her she sounds like an amazing lady. And I wish you all the best. And I hope we can stay connected. And touch base soon.

 

Ronald  32:11

Yes. And that will keep you in my prayers, man.

 

Chad Ratliffe  32:14

Thanks. It's nice to meet you, man. Have a great day.

 

Ronald  32:17

You too. Thanks for having me.

 

32:19

All right, take care.

 

chad ratliffe  32:23

This concludes our show for today. And I'd like to personally thank you for spending the time with us on a topic near and dear to our hearts. If you'd like to be part of the naked parent nation, and help us reach those parents that are struggling and overwhelmed, there's no better way to help them by subscribing rating and reviewing the show on iTunes. iTunes highlights the shows based on these metrics. And the more the show gets highlighted, the more opportunities people will have to be introduced to the show where they can hear that message of hope, or that tip that can change everything. So follow the link in our show notes. And we hope to have you back here tomorrow where we'll do it again. From the team here at the naked parent podcast we wish you the life you've always dreamed of and then some so long