Show Notes

 

How far can you go to prioritize the welfare of your child with special needs? Even to the point of quitting your job?

When Rebekah quit her job and pursued her passion for nutrition, she then realized during schooling that giving her autistic child Pediasure too much, as per the doctor, was not really doing him any favors. Some micronutrients are missing and were not totally helping him.

She also wants to share her knowledge with all the parents out there about the best foods for their kids with special needs. She mentioned some key points that can benefit parents regarding nutrition. She mentioned food coloring in the food can do no good to your children and can lead them to swings in mood. Listen to her episode and discover the kind of foods that are affecting your child.

 

Are you still in shock that you are a parent of a special-needs child?
This show is for parents who are morning the loss of the life and child they thought they would have. For parents who are tired, lonely, and see no hope in sight?

You will learn how to deal with your non-verbal child with a sensory processing disorder, seizures, meltdowns, haircuts, and family trips. Embark on a journey of consciousness, self-care & meditation.

My name is Chad Ratliffe. I am a single father of 5 kids 6 years of age (8-14) and 2 with special needs. 5 years ago, in a nasty divorce, my depression led me to drug addiction and hopelessness. Today, I share with others a life I never imagined possible.

 

Subscribe now and take back control of your life.

 

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/rebekah.quandt
APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/naked-parent-podcast/id1579108619

DONATE: https://www.patreon.com/thenakedparentpodcast

 

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

parent, food, children, love, nutrition, special needs, eating, diagnosis, learning, feel, eat, journey, aba therapy, school, behaviors, son, support, long, boys, exhale

SPEAKERS

Chad Ratliffe, Rebekah Evelyn Torres

 

Rebekah  00:00

At the hospital at Kaiser and him telling me asking me, Mommy, when am I not going to be sick anymore. And I had a corporate position for a large company. At the time I had taken the day off to take my son. And those words just resonated in my head so strongly, and going back to work. And what was interesting is right away, I started getting pushback about asking for a day off even though I had plenty of time. What do you need to do that so important for your autistic son what's needed, there was so much ignorance around it. And within two weeks, I walked out one morning, went home, and decided that I was 99% sure that I would not step foot in that building again. And that's where the journey started.

 

Chad Ratliffe  01:34

On today's show, we'll be discussing how nutrition plays a crucial role for your autistic child. Hello naked parent nation and welcome to today's episode of The Naked parent podcast. My name is Chad ratliffe, and I'm your host. Before I introduce you to our guests today, let me start by sharing the naked parent nation offering naked parent nations a worldwide community of parents and professionals raising children with all kinds of needs.

 

We come together to share Naked Truth support our fellow parents and inspire the inner growth that each of us needs to build the life and family of our dreams. For the parents that are struggling, we want you to know that we will love you until you can love yourself, for your children, we pray and send power from our collective group. As we come to understand our divine nature, we realize that there's no need to feel sorry for ourselves be angry or feel lack, we come to understand that our feelings of limitation and separation are only in our minds.

 

Through Self Realization, we expand our consciousness. So that the challenges that perplex us today dissipate one by one until we're able to see and experience gratitude and beauty and everything just as it is. We have the power to create any kind of life we want for ourselves and our families. We do this by living in the naked present moment, one day at a time. So if you're ready to take back your life, or just continue your journey of awareness and consciousness, then let me welcome you to naked parent nation and the naked parent podcast. And before we get to our interview today, let's start with a grounding exercise where we can find that time for ourselves. So if you want to sit however, you'd like lay down whatever you're comfortable doing. And if you're sitting, have your spine erect. And slowly let your eyes close. And lift your gaze to that space right between your eyebrows. And take a deep, long breath in and hold it at the top and then exhale. And on the next one, we're going to breathe in and we're going to tense our fists and our muscles in our face and in our body. And when we exhale, we're going to relax. So inhale intense. Hold. exhale and relax. And we're gonna do that two more times. Inhale intense holes and exhale, relax. Inhale intense. Hold exhale, and let it all go.

 

These moments are super important for us, as parents, as individual human beings on this planet, wound in the middle of nowhere. We get awareness through our thoughts and senses in our whole body. It helps us from spiraling out of control. We can use it in times of emergency. We can use it in times of love and gratitude. We can use it in times of pain and suffering. So just be wherever you are right now. Bring your awareness to what ever hits your senses feel the weight of your body falling in the chair the support you get from your chair and then take in what sensation you feel right now.

 

Do you feel pain anywhere Do you feel a tingle just take in any senses and sensations you feel and just observe them without attaching. Good or bad just continue to fall into your seat like gravity just take you into your seat and let the seat hold you. Notice any thoughts that arise in your mind.

 

 See if as they come in, you can just let them go right out without attaching good or bad to them. Just like the clouds move through the sky, your thoughts move through your mind. And then notice if it generates any emotions take the sounds in your senses and everything in the room all together and just observe and focus back on your breath again. Use your breath to anchor your awareness. And each time you've noticed that your mind is wandering. Bring it back to your breath. And then take a deep breath in and hold it at the top crown of your head.

 

 And when you exhale, let the room and all the sounds and all of your motions. Go right out into the world into the room. As you allow your eyes to open, you come back into the room. Just remember, you are loved you are amazing. And you deserve to feel amazing. But I'm excited to get to our conversation today. We have Rebecca Taurus with us, Rebecca, thank you for joining us today.

 

Rebekah  09:13

Thank you for inviting me. I'm really excited to speak about this. Yeah, we're

 

Chad Ratliffe  09:17

excited to have you Where are you calling in from?

 

Rebekah  09:20

I am calling in from Hayward California.

 

Chad Ratliffe  09:23

Awesome. Well, we're two Californians. I mean, I'm from Detroit originally, but I've been here long enough. So how long have you lived there?

 

Rebekah  09:34

Born and raised.

 

Chad Ratliffe  09:36

And you can you tell us a little bit about your family and

 

Rebekah  09:41

yeah, yes. So um, I have two boys and stepdaughter. My husband, Roberto Torres, he works for a local concrete company. He As a superintendent, and it's our it's our blended family, you know, and it's really exciting. Especially for my two boys to have an older sister. You know, both of my boys, they are special needs. And it was really my first Born's needs that really catapulted me into learning about autism. Because honestly, I had no idea. And then going back to school and becoming a nutrition health coach,

 

Chad Ratliffe  10:34

that's exciting. Can you tell us how old the boys are?

 

Rebekah  10:39

i Yes, they're 12 and nine now?

 

Chad Ratliffe  10:41

And how long is the family been together?

 

Rebekah  10:45

Been together? for about eight years now? Okay, yeah.

 

Chad Ratliffe  10:52

stepdad has seen the boys grow up most of their lives, right?

 

Rebekah  10:56

Yeah, definitely. As a matter of fact, you know, really going through the process of getting my firstborn diagnosed. And, you know, as everybody knows, it's definitely a process. He was really supportive, just, you know, reminding me gotta get him the help he needs.

 

Because I found that doctors were very resistant, at the beginning of even giving him a diagnosis, you know, I would get comments like, he's a boy, they're delayed. Yeah, well eat when he's hungry. You know, we know all these phrases, and but he just really gave me the support to keep on going. This really is a journey to be relentless. With what you know, our family needs.

 

Chad Ratliffe  11:42

Yeah, I'm excited to talk about that more. And I'm sorry, I actually just got a little bit emotional. And I hope you tell your husband, how amazing you know, just being a dad of a special needs children to like, hear a man step up for your children with special needs. It's really amazing. So grateful that you found somebody that is that solid, because that's not everybody out there. And most people don't seem to be that solid. So it's true, interesting way to get started. So how early did signs that like something looks different than you thought it was supposed to look like? When did it possibly special needs get on your radar,

 

Rebekah  12:27

I would say specifically special needs around two and a half to three. Now, of course, looking back Hindsight is 2020. Now I see you know, things from the very beginning, when he was a baby, but he was nonverbal, he would make sounds, but couldn't articulate. And that's when I took him. And you know, to get evaluated, and I was just told basically that that boys are delayed, they take a long time.

 

They're slower than girls. And don't worry about it, it's okay. But there was different behaviors, textures, if his fingers got dirty, you know, if I tried to help him in a particular manner, he didn't want help. And he wanted everything very much by a particular routine, he would get angry. And again, he wasn't verbal, but he'd get angry, you know, he memorized the path home. And if I had to take a different way, he'd start crying. So all of this just really got me thinking. And then there was the whole eating.

 

And that's where I had to become very vocal because he was underweight. And he wasn't eating like he should, you know, again, getting that typical phrase that a lot of us are very familiar with, they'll eat when they're hungry, me trying and waiting and realizing no, he's not eating when he's hungry. I want to see somebody I want to see a psychologist, and they referred Isaac and I to a psychologist, and right away after the first visit, she said, I don't want to alarm you. And this isn't in my scope of practice, but he could be autistic. And I want to refer you to the diagnosis center to go through the process. And I was so grateful for that. I didn't think autism to be honest, I was reading I thought well, probably some sort of sensory processing disorder. But I again, I just really didn't understand autism.

 

And so I was like, Well, if it is great, I'm going to learn about it and going through countless hours of, of just visits of questionnaires. I feel like there's 1000s of questions we have to answer. You know, having Isaac's dad answer those questions as well. And finally, the last Today, it was an eight hour observation with two doctors going through different testing while Isaac's father and I were in another room, you know, again, getting more questions. And that's when, you know, they pulled us in and told us that he has autism spectrum disorder, and ADHD.

 

Chad Ratliffe  15:19

And what age is that? That this?

 

Rebekah  15:21

For? Yeah, a long time it took about it. I would say from the psychologist recommendation to the diagnosis, I would say just about a year process to get him diagnosed. But to be honest, I felt such relief, because I knew then my child would get help. Yeah.

 

Chad Ratliffe  15:42

So just for the parents that are listening out there, I want to second you just said and encourage them to take action when you feel something because my doctor said delayed, and not knowing anything about special needs, you know, you didn't have to talk me too hard into wanting to believe and hope that it was just a delay, and with how important early intervention is, for the parents that are out there. If you're, if you feel like there's something, Be the squeaky wheel, do what you need to do to get to see a specialist or somebody else that can help you get some of those answers. So I'm glad that you brought that up. So you get the diagnosis, you're relieved, in a way in a way that we never thought we'd be relieved. It's kind of a weird sort of sense of relief. Right? And that starts the journey. And are you like pregnant almost at this point?

 

Rebekah  16:41

No, actually, so my, I had a baby. Yeah, he was because how far apart are they? They are about two years. 10 months. So

 

Chad Ratliffe  16:51

okay. So your kids by the his diagnosis? Yes. Yeah. So

 

Rebekah  16:55

I have Isaac, and then my youngest, Matthew, and I just want to go back because you brought up such a critical point. Please be relentless, and getting help for your child, because doctors will push it off. They really will. And, again, as we talk further, we'll talk about the help that I received and the necessity, but I have been told no, many, many times.

 

Chad Ratliffe  17:20

Yeah, it's such a vulnerable experience. And so I'm glad that we're able to take a platform like this, yes, reach parents that are just entering that experience. Men hopes that we can help encourage them to take those steps. So you get the diagnosis. And you start this journey that you never probably imagined you'd be on have special needs. When did nutrition, call your name to take a deep dive into it.

 

Rebekah  17:53

So you know, right away with the diagnosis. I started ABA therapy with Isaac and, you know, finding it just so helpful. I was learning so much. But there was still this eating issue and he was anemic and he was underweight. And the doctors told me, You know what, just give him PD assure, and because he had difficulty with bowel movements as well do a spoonful of MiraLAX every day. And if you need to twice a day. So here's my son living off of PDs Sure, pretty much and you know, crunchy crunchy chips and crackers. That was his texture of choice on MiraLAX to use the bathroom.

 

It was around six years old. And I remember this day. So clearly, it was towards the end of November. And we had to go to a specialist because he was so severely underweight. They wanted to do tests, they wanted to do bloodwork, they wanted to do a stool sample as well. I had done many blood tests with him before which terrified him. So that was just always heartbreaking. Yeah, holding your son in your lap and him screaming and crying and you're just trying to do the best that you can.

 

And I will never forget being in that bathroom and at the hospital at Kaiser and him telling me asking me, Mommy, when am I not going to be sick anymore. And I had a corporate position for a large company. At the time I had taken the day off to take my son. And those words just resonated in my head so strongly, and going back to work and what was interesting is right away I started getting pushback about asking for a day off even though I had plenty of time. What do you need to do that so important for your autistic son what's needed there was so much ignore rents around it. And within two weeks, I walked out one morning, went home and decided that I was 99% sure that I would not step foot in that building again. And that's where the journey started. So not necessarily with nutrition yet, but just realizing I needed to make a life change. For myself, because my health was struggling, I chronic migraines, they were daily, just from the pressures of trying to help my children because I did have a baby also, and, you know, to work as a single mom, you know, 50 hours a week and juggling everything.

 

And I ended up starting a business pretty quickly after and that lasted about two years. And some unfortunate things happened with that, that I had to shut it down. But actually not unfortunate, because then I decided that I'm going to go back to school and realize my true passion of nutrition. And it was during schooling, that I realized what I'm giving my son to survive, is not doing him any favors, you know, the PD assure the mayor lacks his gut microbiome is totally destroyed, and I need to find a way to help him.

 

Chad Ratliffe  21:28

Wow. It's amazing how these it takes like life to You know, it's not just one thing, it's or tooth, it's like the I'm not going to go back into the career I thought I would have for it's these major moments in life where you either sink or swim and it sounds like you decided to survive and and see where the journey would take you. So you decided to go back to school?

 

Rebekah  21:57

Yes, yes, I went back to school to Institute for Integrative Nutrition, they have a great year program. And I went back to school and you know, during that schooling, really learning about your gut microbiome and how everything is related. But especially learning that food is so healing. And when I say healing, I don't want anybody to misunderstand. Because I know there are people out there that say if you eat X foods, your child's gonna be cured of autism.

 

 So that's not my message. But my message is to help children, especially those with special needs, really thrive and eat well. Now, the other piece of this that a lot of parents know very well is it's not an easy task, especially when they have learned behaviors, they have learned routines, down to the color of drinking bottle and the brands, you know that they eat and drink. So that's where the ABA therapy came in. So well to help me use those skills with slowly and I mean, slowly introducing foods to Isaac.

 

Chad Ratliffe  23:18

Awesome. So it's a big world out there. And it seems daunting, which is sometimes reasons. I don't take a step into it because I don't even know where to start. How does if we feel like nutrition is something we want to focus on for our child, but we have no idea where to start. What's like a first step that a parent can take into this big new world.

 

Rebekah  23:43

Yeah, no, that's a that's a great question and something that I again, really feel passionate about and thrive on, especially as a nutrition health coach, and I would say for myself with helping my son and because it was a slow process, I'll use the PD Assura as an example. He needed nutrients he was used to drinking his nutrients. So I had to find a better replacement. Okay, and what I did was choose an organic protein powder, mix it in almond milk, but I had to slowly add it into his Pediasure in the same bottle. And you know, each time just a very slow adjustment that took months. Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't quick, it took a long time, you know, at the same time, slowly weaning him off of the MiraLAX because his body had become so dependent on it that I had to slowly adjust him away from that and and mixing a probiotic powder probiotic that didn't taste in the PDF Sure, was a great help because again thinking about how can I help him he Do his gut microbiome knowing that it's going to take a long time and being patient with that.

 

Chad Ratliffe  25:07

Now, is there something that all of us should be doing for our child? Or do we need to start with blood work? Or how do we? Is it the same for all children? How does that work?

 

Rebekah  25:21

Well, definitely not the same as you. And I know I mean, everybody listening, you meet one autistic child, you meet one. So they're all very different. And again, utilizing ABA therapy, I became very strong and vocal with them as well, like, this is what I need, I need his help with this. And I'll be honest, they weren't used to doing intensive work when it came to food.

 

And so it was trial and error, it was playing with textures, taking him shopping in the produce section, whether he was gonna choose something or not choose something, just really get my son involved in that world, knowing that it wasn't going to be immediate. But I will say, it's important to do the work. If I'm going to say what some harmful foods out there, the food coloring for one, food coloring has shown and there's so many studies with this has had drastic effects on behavior of children irritability, not able to handle emotions very well coping. And so starting to remove food coloring, decreasing sugar intake, is a huge first step. And again, I know this, this takes time, because children are used to particular foods. And so it takes this persistence to slowly introduce foods.

 

Chad Ratliffe  26:46

I love the suggestion about leveraging your ABA therapy to help you make some of these changes. I mean, we need to utilize all the resources we have available to us, as you started to change the nutrition for your family, are you noticing any changes in behavior or sleep or?

 

Rebekah  27:14

Not that definitely. So it was really amazing to watch my son start to put on weight, starting to eat new foods, making fun, we always had to make it fun. And I mean, putting foods in the shape of a heart, because food is love and just really teaching him that I get emotional, because I truly think food is love. And this was something so special that you know I could do for my child. And just to see the color in his face come back. You mentioned blood blood work. Absolutely. You know, parents do need to get blood work done to see if there's any deficiencies.

 

But you know, coming through this, especially to see that he's no longer anemic. He's gained weight. He's no longer in that bottom level with his BMI, where we had to see a specialist for that, who, you know, I hate to say really didn't do much for us. But he's able to cope so much better. His irritability has decreased drastically, just to see him thrive and manage situations, knowing how he processes things in his brain. He's my hero. Ah, I wish I could be like him, because the way he's able to handle difficult situations, especially knowing what's going on in his brain. He's now in his school orchestra. He plays violin, he's done a few recitals, just so brave. And I'm not saying that food is all of this. But you know, again, because I do give a lot of credit to ABA therapy. I will say food was a huge part in this.

 

Chad Ratliffe  29:06

Yes, I'm really glad that we're focusing on this area for a couple of reasons. One is, I was raised in a very Italian family where food was love. And it was love almost in an unhealthy way. So I love that. You're redefining food as love because in some arenas food is love. The more you eat, the more it's shipped, you're showing me that you love me, right? It's not about healthy.

 

It's not about what it does for your body. It's about I'm giving you something and you're taking it you know, that's what shows love. And I lost 100 pounds twice. So I know nutrition in my own world and I know the difference between eating clean and not eating clean, huge difference in how you feel about yourself. And self esteem and things like that being underweight. And being overweight are kind of two sides of the same coin. So I love that you're redefining food as love. It's amazing to hear the success that it's having. Have you taken your found expertise outside of your family? Do you work with other people now? Or what? How does that work?

 

Rebekah  30:30

Yes, yes, I do. And you're right. You know, food can be loved, depending on how were raised. You know, growing up for me it was if you do a good job, I'm gonna give you some candy. Right, right. Well, intentions were meant well, I've now learned that's not necessarily love nutritious food is love and making it fun and taste good at the same time. But I will say that I had it, I did have a dual purpose for going back to school, it was to start my own business as a nutrition health coach, working with individuals and you know, not just children, but parents, specifically women's specifically, you know, moms, but could be dads too, you know, that really need some help.

 

I love you know, your journey, you have all people know firsthand how important nutrition is. And so I've been working, I have my own business with clients, just helping them, you know, with their nutrition plans, customizing it to what's possible for them. I actually also work in a weight loss clinic. And even though it's adults, it's that same message of food is love nutritious food is love. Because we don't need to be eating vegetables or our proteins, or fruits and think it's a punishment.

 

It's a diet, right? It's really how do you eat nutritious foods that fuel your body that you're going to enjoy and that your family is going to enjoy. And the responses of eating well is feeling better, having more energy, having brain clarity, again, especially for children with special needs, being able to cope with their behaviors a little bit better, right? Everything helps. And so it's just this wonderful journey. And I wish, I wish that message was more prevalent, that nutritious food is love. Because I think as a country, we would do so much better and hate and would diminish when it comes to, you know, again, that trigger word dieting. Yeah, about eating? Well,

 

Chad Ratliffe  32:50

yeah. I mean, the statistics are just astounding, like when you you know, the obesity percentage. And all, when you hear about some of the statistics about the way our nutrition is in this country, it's pretty baffling. Right, having had a food issue in my life, and also having had drug issues in my life, I have an interesting view that a lot of people don't have, because in one sense, you know, you, you look at the heroin addict, or the drug addict. And it's easy to put them in, you know, a bad category. Right? Right. But for me, being hungover on drugs, and being hungover on binge eating from the night before, produces almost the same effect. I'm, I'm very irritable, I'm quick to snap at my kids. So, you know, there's a lot of parents out there that are suffering.

 

And it's affecting their ability to parent, their children, because their nutrition is off. And they're feeling terrible. And their body's working on overdrive trying to feel okay. And it's using up all of their energy that they need for being a parent for working for doing what we do in life. And so, I don't think that people understand how powerful food is. And I'm glad that it's an important message of yours. So for somebody who, you know, like we talked about earlier wants to take those first steps. What do they do? Do they just cut out sugar do they call you and and it talks about if what could work? Like what's the first step that a parent who's listening can take?

 

Rebekah  34:37

So the first step, if you're interested in working with a nutritionist like myself, and I believe you're gonna give the contact information at the end of this or I can, anybody can always email me. My email address is connect at Rebecca evelyn.com Rebecca spelled R EB e ke H e v e l y n.com. So, but I will say the first steps to say cutting out sugar, there has to be replacements for kids, there has to be better options, because you don't want to take away without giving something back and making it reasonable.

 

And I will also say whether you work with myself or a another, you know, nutritionist that specializes in eating well, just make sure because you're going to see a lot of remove sugar, go gluten free, go dairy free, you know, whatever it is, whatever their beliefs are, there really has to be an understanding, and a parent working with somebody that knows, trying to make those changes aren't possible immediately. And so when I see nutritionists say, oh, yeah, all you have to do is cut out these five foods, you can't do that. Very, very rarely, I will say, again, that's even hard for an adult. And so it has to be a slow and progressive step, in order to make a change, it can't be all at once. So just working with somebody that understands that. And that will guide a parent and both child through the process and making it fun.

 

Chad Ratliffe  36:20

I love that I think we should all have I mean, all the I think we should all have accountability partners and coaches in things that are important in our lives. And I think we forget that we can do that with food and nutrition. I think we often feel like, we're responsible for that on our own for our family, and most of us are missing the knowledge. And what we're really eating. I mean, having gone through the weight loss process myself, I learned so much about food and had no idea I mean, healthy meals I thought I was having were debunked. I mean, you know, we don't know what we don't know.

 

So before I forget, though, if you haven't already, if you'll send us all the ways that people can get in touch with you, so we can put it in the show notes after the show. That'd be awesome. Yeah. So people can reach out to you. Can you tell us a picture of your family today? I mean, raising children is a challenge. Raising children with special needs is always a challenge. Where are you guys at today? And what's life look like for you today?

 

Rebekah  37:24

So today with my oldest, it's for him. He's thriving. So while he's in middle school, he's in a quite large middle school 1700 students. So this is another aspect of just support is for me being very vocal with the school with his school counselor, you know, going through his 504 plan, making one on one meetings with his teachers a topic for another day. But you know, those plans, they'll tell a teacher, your child's, you know, your students autistic and this and that they again, they don't know what that means, right? So you know, for my oldest, it's going in and saying, This is specifically what he needs, how's he doing? Let me tell you what he needs. Let me explain the behaviors and what this means and what we need from you.

 

And just ensuring that we have that partnership is key, and always being vocal. So he's doing well, I keep them very close to me, you know, being being working for schools of being a school teacher, school counselor, psychologist, you know that there's a whole team. And it's not easy. But again, my role is to be his voice be his advocate. And so that's what's going on with my oldest, my youngest, who's in fourth grade, Matthew, he has a few diagnoses as well, not autism, but some other diagnoses, anxiety disorder, ADHD combined disorder. And it's very similar. It's meeting with the teachers, it's meeting with the school psychologist and the counselors and the principals.

 

 I'm, I'm very respectful because their job is hard. And I know there's a lot of ignorance when it comes to special needs, even if they say they know, I know my own child. And so it takes my voice to be able to explain, you know, I often joke, I'm sure my picture is on a dartboard. You know, and and I say that jokingly, because I have a good relationship with the school staff. But, you know, at the same time, it's not my responsibility to make them happy. It's my responsibility to take care of my children and be the best parent that I can be and to protect them. And if somebody doesn't like me along the way, that's okay. Again, as long as there's respect there and And, you know, support. That's what I asked for.

 

Chad Ratliffe  40:03

Yeah. And I actually was just going to say the same thing, because it is a very, very delicate and difficult balance. And I've gone too far both ways. I've let too much go in certain situations where big trying to get along and not wanting to cause conflict, not advocated enough. And then there's, you know, a particular school with one of my children right now where it's gotten so bad, it's so uncomfortable. You know, we're not even working together, and it feels terrible. And like, and once you go too far, one way or the other, it's hard to it's such a difficult relationship, and I don't have the answers for it, other than it is our job to advocate. And they do have a hard job,

 

Rebekah  40:54

right? You're totally right. And I've done the same, I let go in the beginning, I listened to them, I trusted them at the beginning of this, I didn't realize how much financial implications were involved in getting support for my son through the school district. They're always trying to give less if they can. And so if I back up and listen and okay, then they won't give to my child and he'll suffer. And so yes, there has been a lot of trial and error and learning, there's been days I've become too impassioned with trying to advocate for my son, and so yeah, trying to find that balance. And I think that's where, for parents listening, give yourself grace, this is not perfect. None of this, whether it's supporting your child, whether it's, you know, eating well, all of the aspects to it, because we are learning as our children are learning. And again, just giving ourselves a lot of grace. And again, at the end of the day, just knowing that you're showing your child the love that they need.

 

Chad Ratliffe  42:05

I could talk to you forever about this. I do have one more question. But I want to make a comment first. And I want to say that your kids are really lucky to have a parent like you to have someone who was willing to give up their entire path, to do whatever they felt was best for their child. And you know, how you shared about your career and going into a new profession and starting a new business in a new relationship. I mean, it's just so much in your life was happening.

 

 I see that you put your kids first. And they're so lucky to have a mom like you. And so I'm I'm grateful to know that there's a couple of kids out there that are thriving because of the genetic lottery or whatever you want to call it. But my question is, kind of getting closer to the closing because we are running out of time is sometimes with special needs kids were given free lunches or discounted lunches. Can we eat a healthy meal at school? Or do we have to provide all the food for our kids to take to school? Do you have a or is it depend on the district?

 

Rebekah  43:23

Yeah, it really does depend on the district. I've noticed, I will say, my experience with my oldest, he won't eat the school food really doesn't matter what it is they serve. You know, he needs everything by routine, he needs to bring his food and the school is very aware of that. And accommodating, especially if he has to go away, you know, maybe on a day, field trip or whatnot. My youngest, who's been such a support on this journey as well and wants to learn, you know how to cook meat goes with me to farmer's markets and tries different vegetables. He will eat the school food but it's so funny, he'll pick and choose he'll make his best choices. And you know, for the most part, he does bring lunch but you know, he'll like the school food as well.

 

He just does its best, his best. But yes, it's really dependent upon the school district I have seen a variety of food choices. And I think the more we start this ripple effect of being advocates and speaking about food and bringing in healthy choices to school districts making that important I know there's a variety of organizations that are working on doing that but overall as a country and for all our children no matter if they're special needs are not you know we can make great change, but it starts with our children. Great

 

Chad Ratliffe  44:55

maybe sometime in the future we can do another show and and get some specific on nutrition, maybe how actionable things that people can do, or maybe even taking somebody through the, like a first consultation, like a live experience that we could showcase, maybe we can do something like that. But I would love to Yes, in closing just for today for the parent that is out there that just got diagnosis is scared. isn't sure if they're going to be enough to handle this journey. They're alone. As a parent, a little bit further down the trail, what do you say to that scared and lonely parent?

 

Rebekah  45:43

Yes, I would definitely say one step at a time, one day at a time, it's not going to happen all at once. I know they give timeframes, you need to fill out this packet and do this within 90 days of the diagnosis and whatnot, a little bit each day. Knowing that it's not going to be perfect. Again, going back to giving yourself grace. And just remembering that you are loving your child, you are showing them love, you know, giving them the hugs at the end of the day. taking deep breaths.

 

 I love that you do a breathing exercise at the beginning of this, that's something that we all need, especially when you're getting diagnosed, you may feel a variety of feeling sadness, for the loss of what you thought was going to be your child's life. But just know that there's also this beautiful path. And this is something I wouldn't change for the world. And there's something special that I heard at the beginning of my journey, and it was a quote, autism is a beautiful way to see the world. I love I believe that with my core. And so remembering that can fuel your passion and give you strength each day to move forward.

 

Chad Ratliffe  47:06

That's beautiful. Autism is a beautiful way to see the world. I think that's a great way to leave the show. I want to thank you for taking the time and sharing your knowledge with us. Please give your significant other a knuckles bump from me, you know, and tell him he's doing a great job. And maybe we can connect down the road and have another conversation when the time's right. Okay. Yes, definitely would love to thank you so much. All right. Thank you for being with us and have a great rest of your day.

 

Rebekah  47:35

Thanks you too. Bye.